Home is where the Heart is

This is the second last post for the Holidays in Hand series prompts and as I intend making the complete album sometime soon (I have started) I am finishing the journaling so that it's all done... I have to say my heart isn't really in it for this post.

So the prompt; Significance of home for the holidays- I'm not sure we actually have much significance for our home for Christmas. I guess if we were actually 'going home' for Christmas it might be different, but as we simply stay home it's not such a big deal.

When we look at our options for Christmas each year we consider 3/4 options (the first two of which is money dependent).

1. Traveling South to Christchurch; I never grew up in Christchurch so going there for Christmas is not like coming home as such and it's more about people than place- it doesn't feel like home.
2. Traveling South to Dunedin for Christmas; The last time we had a a Dunedin Christmas was at my uncle Mikes and though I remember one other Christmas there when Caity was not quite one it's not home either likewise a Christmas Day at Nana's Crib once again it's about people not place.
3. Traveling not so far south to Te Aroha for Christmas. Since Les' Dad died the divisions in Les' family have been a lot more apparent and on top of that there have been births and divorces which splinter the family even more. Christmas in Te Aroha is a juggling act of catching up with the various sections of the family. And it feels a lot more like duty than fun. Plus once again with Les' Mum having moved house since he left Te Aroha we're still not going home.
   
4. The final option is staying home in our home. On a good day I remember that we are incredibly lucky to have this place. It may not be what we would choose. But it is cheap, warm, has a great garden/yard and is just enough for our family of five. We live in an ok neighbourhood and are lucky to live close enough to some cool things and places. On a bad day it's too small, too dirty and mouldy and exposed to all and sundry. But it is our home and I think our family is happy to call it home. And often times at Christmas it's the best choice for us.

Obviously once we get posted again or Les leaves the RNZAF we'll have a new place so it's not like the kid's will be able to come home to the family home of their childhood for Christmas. I'm pretty sure I feel ok about that. But I do wonder what I would like for our kids in the future. Do I want one day for them to have a 'family home' for them to come home to?

Short of some serious financial good fortune I can't see that happening in Kieran's time at home and perhaps not even Merenia's. And when I really think about that I am ok with it. We've made a trade, if we had a mortgage I can see a bunch of items from my 130 list that wouldn't have happened- no doubt we would have still had the single most important thing- being together. But it's quite possible with a mortgage we wouldn't have the second most important thing on the list and that's being here at home to raise our kids ourselves. I'm fairly certain that when they are grown our children won't be saying "Gee I wish you had've gone out and worked Mum so we could have a house now". The trade off for some land and building materials to call our own vs. being a stay-at-home mum just isn't worth it. And then there's the extras with a mortgage Kieran's trip to Japan this year wouldn't be happening, Merenia would be heading off to school this year and much of our fun stuff would be no more.

So yeah I'm cool with no home of our own- I think it really is about people and not places. And when our kids are grown and have their own people we're not tied to feeling like we need/have to have Christmas in any particular place.

We are home, Les and I we are home for our children and Christmas can be where ever we are together and that's pretty darn significant.

♥