Thursday, June 5, 2014

On Be-ing me and astro-travelling, hokey crap with a good core.

I quit the coffee and the smoking via Hypnosis.

I've actually done the latter once before it was a lovely gentle easy experience. It was successful and physically and emotionally pain free. 

This time was completely different. I chose a Hypnotherapist who was about an hour from home because she was $150 cheaper than all the other ones on the net. So just before Easter I did the mission up to her place arrived in the suburb found a spot finished my iced coffee and had two cigarettes in quick succession. Went to the place, got comfy. Answered all the questions... too many questions almost. Then she launched into this full-on lecture about the dangers of cigarettes and laid on a whole heap of scare tactics that were unrelated to me or my situation- not being a person who drinks myself to sleep and not living in the USA.

Then she hypnotised me. I'm not sure that it fully worked. And I started to feel a headache coming on. I heard everything she said and found a lot of it frustrating because she hadn't listened to my answers and didn't really understand how and why I smoked. For example I never smoked in social situations, in fact it was a fairly rare thing for me to smoke outside of home or with another person.The most annoying thing that she did was to keep repeating the phrase '"Be who you be". I just wanted to scream at her "That's NOT proper bloody English!!"

I was quite upset after the session was over- I was seriously worried that it wasn't going to work. And she actually quickly hypnotised me again to calm me down. On the drive home my headache got worse and I also got nauseous as well. The next three days were pretty much a wipeout. I went to the service station on the Friday and brought a packet of smokes. I'd latest about 27 hours. I spent Easter and the week after getting though the physical crap of Caffeine withdrawal and still had some issues the following weekend.

The day that school went back after the holidays I made the pilgrimage back to see her again. If you're wondering why I went back to the same person it's because it was free to follow-up. I took panadol before I went to ward off any headaches and I was super clear that I wanted to concentrate just on the smoking and not all the other stuff that she'd also introduced last time. And I asked her to try and not say "Be who you be".

But I also made the concious decision to not really listen to what she said. So when she started in with a visualisation about a beach I started my own one with a specific beach and spent the next hour or so touring Dunedin and the Otago peninsular in my mind. It was completely awesome. 

After she brought me back I felt bloody awesome. And as I was driving away I realised exactly what I need to do. I needed to be me. It was like a complete and utter epiphany. I had been listening to some old school music on the way to get there and the combination of that and the tour of home I:d just had in my mind- made me realise I have strayed so far from the essential core of my being and I really need to get back to being me if I want to be really happy and successful in living my life.

I went shopping on my way home and grabbed myself some new more me, clothes and felt super, super awesome.

Then I got home and realised it wasn't going to be as easy as I had been thinking. Which is about the point I came crashing down to earth and started suffering the most severe emotional withdrawal from the act of smoking that I ever could have imagined. As I said I am surprised I got out the other end with out someone getting maimed or something getting smashed. I've not really felt so angry in my life.

To be continued....

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