Thursday, June 17, 2010

Not yet, not ever.

The kids spent some time with family a wee while ago and both overheard a conversation that stuck in their mind.

It was Kieran who told me first. He said they'd said that Merenia was fat.

Merenia has obviously had this on her mind for a while now. She asked me in the car the other morning if there is any way to get rid of a sway back.
When I asked her why she said that she'd look like her friend Alyssa. (Alyssa has quite a slim build). I suggested to Merenia that she had inherited her body shape like me and that therefore she wasn't ever going to have A's body shape and that she'd eventually not have such a sway back.

She said where she'd heard the term mentioned first (family member as mentioned above) and said she wished she'd never heard it.

So do I.

I'm gutted that at 9 she's already self-conscious about her body and wishing she was someone else. She's fit, active and healthy. She's very pretty and she looks great.

I'm at a loss as to how to get around the America's Next Top Model stereotypes and bullshit that the media vomits up. Merenia drew a bit of a genetic short straw getting my body shape- but it's not all bad and she shouldn't be worried about it already. And the basis for her concern shouldn't have come from someone within her own family.

Any ideas into how instil self-confidence and positive body image into a 9 year old I am all ears.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's bloody disgusting, and it makes my blood boil!

I was actually just going to post on your 'bus' post the other day about what a beautiful young woman she's growing into, and now reading this breaks my heart :(

She's needs some of this ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kY84MRnxVzo

xoxoxox Macchi xoxoxoxox

Carrie said...

Know exactly how you feel. Taryn's Grandma said to her one visit "Well aren't you a little fatty". She was 9 - we went through hell with her wanting to diet etc, skipping lunch at school and trying to do as much exercise as she could. Some people just don't think! We used a ideal weight range for girls her age/height as a starting point (she was just over average, but still well within the average range) will email you with more.

Anonymous said...

It's so sad - I can't believe it came from family members, from any old Joe Blow is bad enough, but family? Thats tough.
Society makes it hard on the kids and us mums these days, with all the unrealistic ideals they show in the mags and on tv.
Being a kid is hard enough without image hassles.
Miras is a beautiful girl - inside and out, we love having her around, she makes us laugh - and is a great friend to Alyssa.
It is heartbreaking knowing she's so bothered at such a young age.
Unfortunately, no advice here, other than to keep giving positive encouragement etc.
I really hope that one day VERY soon she can look in the mirror and see the beautiful girl that we all know she is, we love you Merenia.
From Joz.