In some ways I was successful and in others I was not.
In January I wrote:
Defined; the concentration of attention or energy on something
maximum clarity or distinctness of an idea
concentrate: direct one's attention on something
A condition in which something can be clearly apprehended or perceived
To direct toward a particular point or purpose
Focus on what I am doing right now. Focus on my goals. Focus on my experience of life. Focus on my family. Focus on my blessings. It all seems to fit when you consider the whole new blog and my 365 project of Will. Focus will be my focus in 2008. And it will be good to keep reminding myself that focus is what's important and it will be very satisfying to build my skill of focusing on a task, or idea. Usually my brain tends to work on 5 things a second never giving anything full focus, not doing anything any particular justice, and often not thinking through an idea to completion, in fact half the time I forget what it was I was actually thinking about as I go off on a tangent. So focus it is... looking forward to it!
Defined; the concentration of attention or energy on something
maximum clarity or distinctness of an idea
concentrate: direct one's attention on something
A condition in which something can be clearly apprehended or perceived
To direct toward a particular point or purpose
Focus on what I am doing right now. Focus on my goals. Focus on my experience of life. Focus on my family. Focus on my blessings. It all seems to fit when you consider the whole new blog and my 365 project of Will. Focus will be my focus in 2008. And it will be good to keep reminding myself that focus is what's important and it will be very satisfying to build my skill of focusing on a task, or idea. Usually my brain tends to work on 5 things a second never giving anything full focus, not doing anything any particular justice, and often not thinking through an idea to completion, in fact half the time I forget what it was I was actually thinking about as I go off on a tangent. So focus it is... looking forward to it!
I guess when I set the goal to Focus what I wanted was to be able to Focus my mind. I have what some people would call a flibbertigibbet sort of brain. I don't think in a straight line and I am often to be found going off on tangents and finding that I can't remember what I had been thinking of only seconds earlier. Or I have fabulous ideas but can't ever remember them at a time I can use them. Or I make a mental to do list and just end up feeling mental and not actually doing anything.
I certainly did not achieve getting my brain straight and when I really take the time to consider who I am I think perhaps I don't want to.
To a certain extent I think I did manage to focus on what I was doing at the time that I was doing it.... although that wasn't always a good thing.
I did not focus on many of my goals in fact I never focused on them long enough to really define what they were. This was a bit of a failing in 2008 in that there were so many things with regards to my home, my passion, and of course my family, Will in particular, that did not get done... and many opportunities are now lost forever. Some of this has to do with lack of sleep, some with lack of planning and some with lack of appropriate support. I am not saying the support wasn't there- simply that it wasn't the support that I needed.
The blog was very helpful in bringing into focus my experience of life as was my 366 project, the month in the life album, and the Daily December. There are many times I have felt pleased and delighted with my ability to really see things and to see them in a way that most others don't. The ability to look closely, to look often and from all angles is a huge asset.
My focus on my family waxed and waned throughout the year.... most times this was purely down to Will and his sleep. It's truly hard, sometimes impossible, to give anyone what they need when you are operating from a thick heavy cloud of exhaustion.... and there is nothing like a year of thoroughly broken sleep to create that for you. From the Tui Brewery book of Mothering: "Sleep when they sleep: Yeah Right!"
I would like to think I focused on my blessings, but I don't think that I did. I certainly didn't dwell on any misfortunes but nor did I regularly practise gratitude for much of what I have in particular my friends and extended family, who I do believe deserve more from me than the irregular contact that is their lot.
I most certainly focused on Will lets face it it's hard not to focus on a baby. But because I didn't have my my goals focused I missed doing a lot of the stuff I would have liked to have done in that first year and I spent a lot of the time that he was awake just hanging out for him to go back to bed so that I could 'get stuff done'.
When I put it all down in writing like this it doesn't sound so good but really it was a lot better than it sounds. I did come back again and again to my word Focus and it did help me to refocus myself to the important stuff. And this process right now is also showing me that I need to have in place a firm process for checking myself with my word this year and reminding myself of my goals- and my actions to achieve them.
I also think that this years word will go a very long way to help me to continue my focus. :-)
♥
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