Learning: Beyond Uke, reading and incidentals. Merenia didn't want to learn about stuff she didn't want to learn about. I tried a few different approaches but the fact of the matter is that while I can lead that particular horse to water I can't force it to drink and some days I think that if I had have required her to breath she would have stopped just to spite me. She didn't want to write, spell, read non horse related materials, research or anything else that she even vaguely considered schooly.
She's better: By the time we decided to pull Merenia out of school we had a lot of mysterious illness- the classic sore throat, sick tummy and head ache syndrome- she was requesting a lot of time off school and my suspicion was that it wasn't physical health days so much as mental health days. Her good health over the past 13 months confirms that I think- leaving school was an instant cure.
She is moving forward (or she has at least stalled): In general but particularly in relation to maths Merenia was going backwards to the point where she actually believed that she couldn't do Maths. Despite very little Maths being done last year she has regained an belief in her ability to do Maths- and has even proclaimed it on a couple of occasions.
She's forgotten what she hated about school: Hopefully the change of school the years worth of maturity and other changes will mean that she doesn't hate it again.
Her life was in danger: I was getting close to killing her- I'm half joking- I value my freedom to much to go down for homicide! But seriously we both have aspects of our personality that have a habit of coming together like charging bulls. She frustrates the crap out of me and I think the feeling is mutual.
I need some privacy and space: This isn't a Merenia reason but it is valid none the less. I was spending almost all my time in the company of Merenia with the exception of St Johns, Uke and Choir she was always there. Always talking, being nosy, over sharing both information about herself and myself (with others) that she didn't need to share. (She outed one of her old teachers last year to a parent and pupil of the school where that teacher works) she has no idea of what is socially appropriate and what is not and that's actually a really hard thing to deal with.
Her mind moves in mysterious ways (and it was time to share the mystery): While Merenia seems to have no passion for anything but horses and ukulele and no desire to learn beyond those two things (oh ok maybe food/cooking as well) she thinks the weirdest stuff and asks the most insane and inane questions. I wouldn't mind that if there was a balance with regular questions, I wouldn't mind that if she also used her own brain to think as well but she doesn't. A weird thought comes up and is out her mouth before she's even taken a moment to consider it. "How would you get us places if you only had motorbikes?" "What if our last name was Jones?" What? wha? seriously? Someone else needs to hear this stuff because the extra 5+ hours a day of it was killing me.
I don't 'get' her: It's said that Dyslexia isn't a disability as such but just a different way of thinking. A way of thinking that is practiced by a small minority of the population. A bit like left handedness is only found in something like 10% of the population but it's normal for that 10%. Dyslexia is supposedly the same. And just like I find it hugely challenging to do stuff like writing with my left hand I find it hugely challenging to think like Merenia thinks or to even understand where she is coming from sometimes. That makes me a crap facilitator when it comes to her learning and thinking. In fact it appears that makes me crap when it comes to a lot of things with Merenia and this is a huge challenge that Les and I both need to work on in order to raise a successful happy child. If anyone can point me in the direction of where to start then please please please do that because honestly I'm failing dismally at this point.
She has self-esteem again: Merenia walked through life with an attitude of 'everyone hates me', 'the world is against me'. She could often be found storming off to her room screaming, wailing and slamming doors when told off in the most minor way. She still turns every issue into a major drama but it seems now that it's more about attention than a genuinely held belief that the world is against her. In fact with the exception of an incident over Christmas we actually haven't heard that particular line in months. It took the Christmas incident to make me realise that. Unfortunate though the incident was it was kind of nice because it made me realise that we had obviously been doing something right.
Will needed the space: As I write this on day one of school I have already had confirmation that Will needed the opportunity to take his own path. Rather than being forced down the one the Merenia was taking. He has played better alone today. Has been actually able to make his own choices on the direction of pretend play and quite literally has been able to sing and dance to his own tune when we were listening to some music. Big brothers and sisters are great but I don't think they were ever designed to be in the face of their younger siblings 24/7 and as Merenia never wanted to actually do her own independent learning she treated Will as a plaything. And if I'm honest I did less with Will last year for two reasons: Because I didn't want to have to do it with Merenia interfering as well. And because I didn't have to I let him default to playing with her and did my own thing more.... so not cool, I know. I am seriously looking forward to the time I get to spend with Will this year before the baby comes and after that when it is asleep. I remember 'three' with Kieran and it was an amazing time- probably 3 & 4 are the best of those pre school years from my point of view.
We chose the school that we did because it 'looked' the best. It looks well resourced. And the school looks cared for. Unlike Whenuapai they still have extra space where children can be withdrawn to to do cool stuff and essential stuff. It's on the way (to taking Kieran to school). She can catch the bus home (and to school as well if we want) this could be a big bonus once the baby is here and generally it's just nice for me to only have to go out once (Kieran is catching the bus home as well). We couldn't go back to Whenuapai. The huge feeling of relief that came over me when they released the kids on Kieran's last day was proof that I needed to be away from there. A year or so before I would have expected to be sad that our connection with the school had come to an end. But various issues that arose over the past 14 months relating to the senior management and just the service in general that our kids were getting had been so stressful and depressing that I was well over it. And while I still believe that there needs to be huge change for the teaching staff (people I counted as friends) to be treated fairly and reasonably I'm done trying to help with that fight. Les remains on the Board until his term is over because he believes in fighting so that our community gets the best it deserves and it seems he still has the energy to do it despite a fair few figurative kicks in the guts from the people he believes he is trying to help.
After reading this you are probably wondering what we did last year. For posterity I am writing a post on our year of unschooling because I need to remember what we did before the passage of time steals it away. Hopefully I can stop hanging with Will or stay awake long enough to get it done soon!
♥
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