Monday, September 1, 2008

What gaps could you fill with $8,000?

I got a letter on Friday, addressed directly to me. "Dear Mrs Stockley" It said. "What gaps could you fill with $8,000?"

Here's my reply;

Dear Mr Park,

Great news indeed! I see you have pre-approved me for a loan of $8,000.

I must say Ian, my heat skipped a beat when I read your letter... what gaps can I fill? Well I can think of three straight off... my dentist is going to go into shock when he sees them but I'll be all the happier once he's done. And of course I'll still have change from $8000!

So what next- we still have the two old CRT Telly's from before we met perhaps my beloved and I need to upgrade to LCD's one for the lounge and one for the bedroom sounds good. A few new clothes, a people mover to move my little peeps. Mmmmm what more? I can imagine a list as long as your arm. A couple of small debts to pay, Visa down to zero and we'll be sitting pretty!

I see from your letter that MY loan is already put aside at the bank and that I can drop in and fill in some papers and the CASH will be in my account in a short 24 hours... sweet! Oh wait... you can only offer me the loan based on my financial position as at 1 August 2008. Have things changed since then???.... hmmmm... No, they haven't changed, fantastic! I'll be in as soon as the baby wakes up!!!

Best regards,
Gypsy

P.S I'm only kidding. I hope you were joking too, when you sent me the letter. Because if you know that I personally earn NOTHING. And you can see that we max out our visa each month, and you have bank statements that show the government thinks we earn so little that they feel the need to top us up each week. You can tell from our linked accounts that we have 3 children and occasionally borrow money from their accounts. And you know that we have NO savings for any rainy days and you must know the current financial climate in this country. Then you must be joking, because to seriously offer $8000 to someone in that situation would be morally corrupt...

P.P.S On the $8000 with 15.5% interest. If I earn $0 each week amounting to a total of $0 p/a what will my repayments be and when can I expect to pay off my loan?

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