Wednesday, July 20, 2011

1850's Parenting Advice

Someone posted this recently on a forum I read. It's from a 1850's book about caring for your household. What I like is that it is still very relevant, sensible advice.


Give a Few Minutes to That Child
Few parents realise how much their children may be taught at home, by devoting a few minutes to their instruction every day. Let the parent make the experiment only during the hours which are not spent in school. Let him make a companion of his child, converse with him, propose questions, answer inquiries, communicate facts, explain difficulties, the meaning of things, and the reason of things, and all in so easy and agreeable manner that it will be no task, but serve to awaken curiosity and interest the mind, and he will be astonished at the progress he will make.

Scolding
I never knew one who was in the habit of scolding able to govern a family. What makes people scold? The want of self-government. How then can they govern others! Those who govern well are generally calm. They are prompt and resolute, but steady and mild.

Gratitude
Be careful to teach your children gratitude. Lead them to acknowledge every favour that they receive; to speak often of their benefactors, and to ask blessings for them. Accustom them to treat with marked attention their instructors and those who have aided them in the attainment of knowledge or piety. Gratitude is one of our first duties to God, and should not be forgotten when due to man.

Parental Commands
If you wish to be obeyed, be careful to make few commands, and see that they are obeyed. Run no hazard in giving orders that may by any possibility be disobeyed. If you make them, let nothing be an excuse for disobedience.

The Influence of the Eldest Child
The eldest child will be a model after which the younger members of the family will be fashioned. The taste, the habits, the character of the one, will very likely be copied by the others. How great the responsibility of the parent in the culture and training then of the eldest child!

Practical Thoughts
Be yourselves what your children should be. Avoid what they should avoid at all times; let your example be a safe and unerring guide. Are their defects in their character? Inquire the cause, whether it may not be owing to some defect or fault in your own character which they have copied.

Beautiful, Yet Fearful Thought
Childhood is like a mirror catching and reflecting images all around it. Remember that an impious, profane, or vulgar thought may operate upon a young heart, like a careless spray of water thrown upon polished steel, staining it with rust that no efforts can efface.

Nursery Maxims
  • Remember that children are men and women in miniature, and though they should be allowed to act as children, still our dealings with them should be manly, and not morose; recollect, also, that every look, word, tone and gesture, nay even your dress makes an impression.
  • Never correct a child on suspicion, or without understanding the whole matter, nor trifle with a child's feelings when under discipline.
  • Be always mild and cheerful in their presence, communicative but never extravagant, trifling or vulgar in language or gesture. Never trifle with a child, nor speak beseechingly, when it is doing wrong. Always follow commands with a close and careful watch, until the thing is done, allowing no evasion, and no modification, unless the child ask for it, and it be expressly granted.
  • Never reprove children severely in company, nor hold them up to ridicule, or make light of their failings.
  • Never speak in an impatient, fretful manner, if you have occasion to find fault.
  • Never say to a child, "I don't believe what you say," nor even express doubts. If you have such feelings, keep them to yourself and wait truth will eventually be made plain.
  • Never disappoint the confidence a child reposes in you, whether it be a thing placed in your care or a promise.
  • Always give prompt attention to a child when he speaks, so as to prevent repeated calls, and that he may learn to give prompt attention when you call him.
  • Improve the first ten years of life as the golden opportunity, which may never return. It is the seed time, and your harvest depends upon the seed then sown.

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