Down the Right of Way: One Little Word 2018

Each year I choose a word to guide my year and help me focus on what I want to achieve and feel. I'm kind of gob-smacked to realise that 2018 with be my 12th year with a word accompanying me on my journey. My previous words all with different levels of success or lack of have been...

2007- Accomplish
2008- Focus
2009- Healthy
2010- Brilliant
2011- Better (with Habit)
2012- Simple
2013- Story
2014- Be (with Present)

2015- Together (with Nourish)

2016- Joy

2017- Light

I published my review of light on the blog yesterday. It was a big word to choose but I did ok.

Some years the word just shows up, sometimes quite early in the year- and it just clicks. (I have one in mind for 2019 already). Sometimes I audition a few... last year was like that- I had what it narrowed down to two and then light rode in from nowhere and I knew. Sometimes a word comes and I fight it and fight it and fight it... together was like that.

Back in October I thought my word might be Gypsy. :-) I think maybe that is always my word running like a backing track to my life. Be Gypsy.

Another early contender for my word was Wabi-sabi. Wabi-sabi is a Japanese concept/philosophy for which there is no one word English equivalent- it deserves a blog post all on it's own considering how enamoured I am with the idea. The best description I have read: Wabi-sabi... advises accepting imperfection and focuses on embracing life. ... Pared down to its essence, the philosophy celebrates elements that are weathered, worn or rusted. Wabi comes from the root "wa" which means harmony, peace, tranquility and balance. Sabi means "the bloom of time". I loved the concept and the idea of beauty in imperfection and good things coming with time. But the verbal word bugged the heck out of me... it feels silly like ickle-pickle or wibbly-wobbly. On top of that although this is a philosophy that I need to explore and embrace- it didn't say enough about how and where I want to travel as a person this year.

But before Wabi-sabi I formed a shortlist in November before I went to Bali.

Then Wabi-sabi came along, thanks to Nadya and her film class. Then I went to Bali which takes Wabi-sabi to a whole new level. And I got signs...

This is a restaurant and bar on Sunset- we passed it twice a day every time we went down to Kuta central... that's about 17 times. :-) But still it didn't 'feel' right.

Sometimes I go through a process to find it. I might go through Ali Edward's list of words. Or I might do Susannah Conway's Find Your Word course. And that course is what led me to my word.

The first activity is to write down your ideal day. I don't have just one ideal day because I'd want to pack about 15 things and almost as many people into it and it would end up being a crap day because I'd get overwhelmed and tired... which would be ironic because a big part of my ideal day would be some quiet almost alone time. But I did the exercise roughly and added the ways I didn't want to feel which feature in my life now. And wrote a list of elements my ideal day would have for example balance, creativity, writing, contentment, flow, light, nature... and in amongst that list was my word sitting innocently on the page minding it's own business with neither of us imagining it might be 'the one'.

On the third day of the course you go back to day one and highlight or list the words that appeal to the way you want to feel, how you want to be in the year to come. Then you look at their definitions, synonyms and ideas around them. That's when my word stepped forward and when I saw it properly and I just knew... I went along with the exercise rehearsing wabi-sabi, dare, vulnerability, Gypsy, brave and acceptance along side it... but the page was soaked with ideas for 'the word'. They spilled out of the margins and flowed into all the empty spaces. The word already felt like a part of me- I was immersed in it and had all the clarity I needed. I did the final two days of activities anyway and my excitement grew. I started humming song lyrics and building my pinterest board for 2018. I held it close to my heart and pulled it out and examined it in quiet moments. And it felt so good, so perfect, so right. So without further ado I'd like to introduce my One Little Word for 2018:

Water

Cool huh? Or hot... depends how you like it I guess. :-)

“Water does not resist. Water flows. When you plunge your hand into it, all you feel is a caress. Water is not a solid wall, it will not stop you. But water always goes where it wants to go, and nothing in the end can stand against it. Water is patient. Dripping water wears away a stone. Remember that, my child. Remember you are half water. If you can't go through an obstacle, go around it. Water does.”

― Margaret Atwood, The Penelopiad

So why water?

Water is a place of comfort for me. It's something that feels like home. I've always lived close to the water and it's where I go to find space and peace. When my whole world feels like it's flying to pieces, and it did at times in 2017, water was the place where I could pull myself whole again. I am hoping as part of this year to write and share some of my favourite water stories.

2017 was also the year when I started drinking pure water again after a terrifying experience as a kid that made me hate the taste of water. I don't remember how small I was but I choked on a drink of water for long enough that I felt like I was going to die. In 2017 with some help I taught myself that a drink of water is not going to kill me... it's still not a pleasant or comfortable thing to drink water- and I have to do it consciously or I still panic... but I am getting there.

I like that water has multiple qualities- from shallow to deep, cold to hot, ice to steam and clouds, waves, streams, lakes, swamps, springs. It can crash, flow, ripple, sit, roll, erode, and trickle among other things. It can be solid, liquid or gas.

It's universal. We all need it, we are all made of it. It's a key in how things grow.

It's clarifying, it's purifying, and it's also mysterious.

It both sits and it travels.

It can conform itself to any shape, but will also break barriers and go where it wants to.

What do I see water bringing to my year?

"Water is the driving force in nature."

-Leonardo da Vinci

I need a driving force this year- it's a preparation year for what's to come in 2019. It's a testing year, testing the waters- dipping my toes in some pools- or maybe just taking a plunge- it's a year to answer questions and finalise decisions- so having water as my word- as a driving force to find my true nature just fits.

Here's a brave thing to say: I am a writer. This year I need to find flow as a writer. I need to have writing permeate my life and have it fill the spaces that raising a family leaves.

I want to nourish myself physically and water will be a huge key to that and also act as signal to remind me of the other elements; rest, healthy food and time out.

I want to nourish myself mentally- taking a time to build more on the stuff I learnt about myself in counselling last year. The water- in it and by it will be a perfect place to do that.

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.”

― John Lubbock, The Use Of Life

I want to move more- outside in nature in my local area but also to travel further a field... yes I have caught the bug and am thoroughly smitten... I have wanderlust. I want to see new oceans, rivers and lakes. I want to swim in more pools.

I have metaphorical oceans to cross this year and I want to do that with the strength of the ocean and wear away at the changes I need to make with the patience of the river that formed the grand canyon.... but in less time.

I'm still holding the same dreams from the start of 2017 and I want to cause ripples in my community and beyond that get people thinking about their stories and connecting over them and using social media for good.... it would be nice to move from ripples to making some waves... maybe a flood... but I want to keep my intentions small for now.

As I weather storms, and make a few of my own- I want water to remind me that it is also the rainbow after the storm. That even the mightiest ocean can become becalmed.

There are some things I hope to let go off... literal and mental... like water off a ducks back.

I'm also going to use watering my newly planted garden as a time to be aware, thoughtful, mindful and grateful. I'm also adopting some parts of the Balinese Hindu Offering ritual to be grateful both for water and other people and things in my life.

I want to grow as a person... water myself with knowledge and understanding.