The first thing is my One Little Word via Ali Edwards Class. This is a cool way to be mindful of my goals and intentions for the year and creative at the same time. It's not onerous and it is fun. Plus it comes with a great online community of women.
The second thing I will be doing is thinking about the things I learned in counselling last year. Using the tools I learned including journalling, 'Gypsy-Graphics', and personal prompts (nutshells) to keep me on track and help shift the bad habits of a life time. I plan on using some of the journalling prompts from the lovely Jen Morris including these ones for January. I hope to journal at least 22 days in each month- especially as it will also support my writing in other forms... but I'm not going to kick myself if that doesn't happen.
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The third thing is living with my Core Desired Feelings (via Danielle Laporte) This is a small number of feelings (4 or 5) that I need to get happening in my life this year to get and keep me moving, keep me sane and find my way back to me... I got a little lost for a while. 2018 is about being mindful of the feelings I want to create for myself and making intentional choices that help me to feel the way I want to feel- and avoid the old crappy ways of feeling as much as possible. I am also using the Desire Map planner as my diary this year... it's so pretty and will help me stay on track and keep my CDF's front and centre each day.
Looks like water right?? And I picked it before I picked my word. I like when life does that sort of magic!
This is my third year picking CDF's, I'm intending this will be the year I can actually remember them still in December... instead of forgetting by February!
Here are my Core Desired Feelings for 2018:
1. Empowered
(independent, brave, capable, confident, courageous, daring, self-controlled, self-reliant, creative)
In the space of 20 years of marriage- 14 of them as a military wife, and 6 of them in another country- and all of them with children my independence has taken a big hit. Along with it my confidence and courage. I've never been as reliant on others or as incapable in my life as I have been since we moved to Australia... the last year I have chipped away at the anxiety and a little of the fear and have learned to sit with the rest of the fears. In the last year I have understood and fortified myself. This year I'm crossing the line back over to independence and self-reliance... hopefully even financially if I can finally find a paying job! With that I'm going to regain some confidence and courage. And sometimes I'm just going to have to step up and be brave. This year I am learning and growing and testing and moving forward. One of the key places you'll see this is in my creativity- I intend to be empowered to make more, photograph more, write more and share more. To bring this back to my one little word... I'm going to be the storm, the river and the flood... I'm going to make ripples and waves, I'm going to push against the dams and find my way into the spaces I need to inhabit.
2. Nourished
(growth, enough, energised, health, lively, stimulated, creative)
I'm going to get minimum 7 hours a night sleep in a sensible manner. I'm going to keep front and centre the concept of wabi-sabi- (beauty in imperfection) and remind myself I am enough as I am. I'm going to read and write, listen and talk, learn and create... all this will be nourishment for my brain keeping me stimulated and energised so I can grow and be creative.
Yeah!
3. Vulnerable
(expressive, relief, supported, hopeful, creative, writer)
Ugh. This Core Desired Feeling is a bit of an exception to the rule- it's not a feeling that I desire at all. It's not a want it's a need and I semi-gracefully accept that....
I need to be vulnerable...
in order to...
... get the support I need from my fiends.
... express myself honestly and authentically and connect with people.
... feel hopeful for the future.
... express myself creatively and share my experiments, trials and mistakes.
... to get some relief from the anxiety that I have around hanging out with humankind.
... to write well from my heart.
4. Open
(connected, present, interested, kind, compassionate, tender, creative, social)
I hide. Everyday I hide behind my computer and 'things' I am 'busy' with, stuff I am trying to get done. If I don't go hang out with the big kids or go play with the boys then nothing can go wrong- I can't stuff up, I won't feel disappointed in myself, or upset or get hurt by some random comment or action. I also don't have to see the ways I feel that I have let them down and 'failed' them as things have become harder and harder and I have forgotten how to parent. They ask me to do things and I turn them down... I stay safe, it's not helping them at all though. So this year I need to open up, come out into the open and be present with them. I need to take the time to be kind and compassionate- rather than feeling frustrated or running away because I feel guilty or like I'm failing them. I need to be tender with them and interested in their random stuff... even if it doesn't really interest me.
I also need to do the same thing in my community of friends- come out into the open and connect. Be interested and find my way back to being kind rather than scared, and defensive or just plain absent.
And I also need to be open to trying and screwing up when it comes to creating, photography, and writing.
I need to get off my computer and play.
5. True
(honest, caring, balanced, connected, playful, authentic, disciplined, unique, generous, courageous, creative, passionate: Gypsy)
One of the things I did as part of my counselling was to come up with a set of core values. Things that are vitally important for me to be doing/being at a basic standard for me to feel like I'm enough... to feel like I am being my authentic self.
My eight core values, which I will talk about some other time are: Honesty, Caring, Connection, Exploration, Courage of Convictions, Generosity, Individuality, and Delight. These are the things I want to be true to this year and uphold as much as I can- so that I can feel like I am right in my own skin. So that someone can look at what I am doing and how I am living and know the sort of person I am. I don't care if they don't like what they see, or even if they do... I care that I am being true to me, because on good day, even I can see that I can be pretty awesome.
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The last thing I will be doing is just looking after myself health wise... drinking water, eating well, resting appropriately, getting fresh air, being creative, taking space, brushing my teeth. and getting into water.
I will still let myself to read articles from time to time, and books but... I'm not doing any other courses, downloading any workbooks, answering any questions, filling in any forms or any other project creative or otherwise. I'm not going to save links to go back to them. I'm not going to keep reading to find some magic pill or solution when I should be asleep or creating my own good health. I'm not going to buy into any more crap. The second best thing about the four things I am doing is that I created the content... it's my word, they are my own chosen feelings, it will be my writing and my hands that feed my body and my mind that acts intentionally for long term gain... that's very cool. The very best thing is that the planning phase is finished and I'm ready to do the implementing phase... I don't think I have ever completed a plan before... I have always ended up getting busy or sidetracked or lost... but this year I'm done and ready to go. I have kept it small and easy and I'm feeling optimistic about my potential for greater progress and more success this year. Yay!!
♥
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