Together Tuesday

 

I'm writing this on Thursday the 23rd. That makes it a 'Mum and Tama day' that's the description we give to school days that aren't Kindy days. The day started out well enough fairly calm and at ease. T and I got Will to school and came home and had fruit toast for breakfast. Pam came over and we finally gave her the Easter card Tama made for her. Tama was compliant, for want of a better word, he was cheerful and happy. He was up late this morning and so still in his PJ's, so opted to have snuggles and watch Telly in bed. We hung out there for a while interspersed with me adjusting the washing machine and then hanging the washing on the line. I had been thinking about vintage books so I suggested to Tama he get up and dressed and we could head out to the op shops. He's a willing Op-shopper and so happily agreed. It was a pleasant trip we scored some cool stuff and had a lovely conversation.

When we got back he sat down with his lunch box. It's not full of terribly great choices today. I still need to go do the shopping but I'm feeling fairly lacklustre lately- apart from anything else I have a cold for the first time in a long long while.

I did go to the supermarket on Wednesday just for lollies. Starburst were $1.31- half price! I got 19 packets. That's 4.5 weeks worth for the senior mens hockey games. And one for me... Forrest Berries, I deserve it right? It's just one after all. I can't start eating right until after I do the shopping. It's not a big deal. They're stashed in my drawers by the scrapbooking table.

While Tama was eating his lunch I snipped open the bag and grabbed a small handful. Tucked in. 

Tama spent the afternoon playing with our op shop finds, a few games and a plastic golf set. He got progressively louder and more aggressive in the two hours before school pick-up. He refused to go to the toilet and then pooed his pants while I was hanging the third load of washing leaving me a neat package of undies, shorts and poo to find when I came back inside. 

He bashed his hockey stick on the ground and on a box. He tossed some things in the air and I threatened him with violence should he break the TV (again).

I snuck a few more lollies when he wasn't looking my way and just before we headed out to school a few more.

Tama refused to find his sandals and was cranky about going to school. I refused to carry him to the car. And he threatened me with not being my 'best boy' any more if I didn't come carry him. I started the engine and told him to hurry up. In the car I sad he wasn't my best boy anyway considering his behaviour that afternoon and I'm guessing I probably wasn't his best mum considering mine.

At school he took off to play on the grass and a couple of Mums and I reflected on our day. I expressed my annoyance with Tama taking his sandals off (They were in the car from our trip to the op shop a couple of hours earlier). And then I wondered to myself who had flipped my 'bitch switch', how and why had I gone from the peaceful cosy morning to the angry frustrated afternoon?

I did. 

I flipped it, with my sweet, sweet mega dose of sugary lolly badness. I flipped Tama's too with his carb and sugar loaded lunch. And it was about that point where I lost hope of maintaining my mood, my composure, my clear head and struggled my way through the rest of the day. It's about that point where Tama did the same too.

There is no nutritional/health benefit to the foods that he and I ate. We meet some energy needs but at what cost? Too great a cost when those energy needs could have been met with some yummy cheese, sausages, boiled eggs or some other super simple  and delicious option.

There is no emotional benefit to us eating those foods- our afternoon was not a 'treat', it wasn't something special.

I guess it saves me time and energy to eat/serve these foods but I'm pretty sure that I used way more energy and time getting Tama to do what he needed too etc.

Eating crap food, or even just less than stellar processed food has no payoff and isn't worth the price my life and my kids lives pay.

♥