One Little Word 2015

I have come to accept that no one in any seat of power is likely to adopt my concept of New January and with this acceptance came the realisation that I don't have to buy into the 'gotta start on the first' movement. And so have now adopted my own personal agenda.... slow January. Having not had much time in the last few months of 2014 to look ahead and think about how I wanted the year to go I am slowly easing myself into 2015 and looking at my plans in a relaxed manner. Starting with my One Little Word.

I have been 'doing' One Little Word since 2007 with mixed success over that time for various reasons.

Here are my previous words
2007- Accomplish
2008- Focus
2009-  Healthy
2010- Brilliant
2011- Better (with Habit)
2012- Simple
2013- Story
2014- Be (with Present)

By far the best year 2013 the year of Story. Although I never did achieve what I set out to do- I did for the first time keep my word 'front and centre' for the whole year.

But in fact I have never achieved any of the goals I've set out to achieve and I think my very keen awareness of that this year is one of the reasons I am struggling so hard to write about this years word and to set goals around my word and my intentions.

The other half of it is that the word that chose me this year is the stellar opposite to the state I really crave  a lot of the time.

So with that rather inauspicious introduction my One Little Word for 2015:

Together 

with Nourish.

I want this word to manifest (poxy word) in my life in two ways:

1. Spend time together.
2. Get my 'shit' together.

The first one is fairly self-explanatory. It's Kieran's last year at home. It's Tama's first year out of home. Merenia is in that awkward teenage 'the whole world is uncool' phase, and Will just always needs more attention or he starts killing his little brother (not literally but the quickest way for Will to get our attention is to hurt/bother Tama). So it's really just a good time to make sure we spend time together and make the most of the year.

As I said indicated above 'together' is actually the last thing I want most days. After 3 and a half years of the almost constant companionship of a very touchy feely wee guy I am so well overdue for some time alone, not together.... not at all. My 3 nights in Brisbane were the first I have been away since Tama was born and I am feeling so depleted I'm almost ready to strangle someone. Especially now a month into school holidays!

The second part is a repeat of every other goal I've had every other year: Get My Shit Together. From losing weight, gaining money and moderating my crazy over the top computer use. Blah, blah, blah... haven't done it any other year... so what's going to make this one different. No idea. Not much hope really either.

I am actually feeling like that- it's a part overwhelm, part repeated daily failures in key areas of my life and part a feeling of being alone in having such goals- and needing to work against pretty much everyone in the house. That concept before I even 'get out of the gate' is just exhausting (and infuriating).

I could have bullshitted my way through this post, listed some malarkey about my intentions and goals for the year- but it would be so patently unrepresentative of how I'm feeling I would have done a disservice to anyone that may be reading.... and also to me. Fuck together, I want to be alone. And Fuck losing weight and saving money I want to drink iced coffee and buy books and scrapbook stuff. And well fuck parenting too it's fucking hard and the recipients don't give a flying fuck anyway.

*******

The point of life is happiness.  ~ The Dalai Lama

******

He obviously gets to spend time alone, he never had kids, and lets face it one could hide a multitude of sins under that robe.

♥

No offence was meant to the Dalai Lama or his followers in this post, I'm just struggling at the moment, ok?