Guest Post: Les' Trip to NZ....

Sometimes life deals a bad hand, and it helps bring the best out in people. My sister Glenys' husband Royden was diagnosed with brain tumours about 10 years ago, at times it had been hard for them but he passed all the Dr's predictions and with some care was still going strong long past when they thought he wouldn't be. They worked hard for years owning the Chive Farm, and then they decided it was time to retire for a while, a change of pace and scenery. So they sold up and bought a small house out the back of Pukekohe.  

Royden had regular Dr's follow ups and on a routine MRI check they found that the tumours had metastised to his spine in his neck area and there was nothing that could really be done.  Glenys rang me a few times as she needed to vent/talk and I was glad I could be of help to her at that time.  She asked one night if I'd come back if she asked/needed me too, of course the answer was yes.  So a couple of days later I got a call from her daughter Natalia saying Glenys wanted me back to help.  I spent a few days sorting work out as much as I could before I left Perth not really knowing how I could help but willing to be there to give it a shot.  

So after some fun with flights and missed connections I found myself back in NZ, still not really knowing my role in all this.  It didn't take long though, it was obvious Natalia and Matt had taken on the bulk of the work along with Glenys in looking after Royden and they were shattered and needed a break.  In the couple of weeks since the MRI, Royden had deteriorated pretty quickly.  He was very unsteady on his feet and spent most of his time in bed.  Hospice nurses visited everyday and essentially it was about keeping him pain free and enjoying the time he had left as much as possible.  Natalia and Matt and others that were helping were dispatched back to their own houses and beds with instructions to stay away for a few days while I got into the routine of looking after Royden, and also, looking after Glenys.  

We stayed up way too late on many of those early nights talking and we promised to be up front and plain with each other, and it worked.  There were times for using nicer words, and times when we had to be blunt and face the truth of what was happening and about to happen to Royden.  My role was really that of hired muscle, it needed a strong person to help Royden move around to do some of the basics like the toilet, and it was a little easier for me as Royden took directions well from me, we danced our way to the toilet and I 'd use my air force Sgt voice a few times if I had to. I managed to work in a few bits of "time off" to do a few things I wanted to do while back in NZ. 

First up was to take Mum back down to Te Aroha a few days after I arrived, it was good to spend some time with her and assess where she is at as she has her own issues going on.  It was great to drive down the familiar roads and see harrier hawks thermalling, and see the outline of Mt Te Aroha approaching.  

Mum and I went out to the cemetery and I gave Saskias headstone a clean up and some fresh flowers, and also that of my Dad.  Then dropped Mum off to a meeting and then I checked out a few of my old haunts around town.  Saw Mary and Geoff outside their house so called in and surprised the heck out of them for a quick coffee and chat.  Then back up town to pick Mum up and drop her off back home before catching up with Logan and Trudy and their boys, and then on to meet up with Helen for a coffee, literally running into Kath in the street while waiting.  Then over to Michele's to meet Nikita for the first time and I dropped in on brother Neil before I left town heading for Miss Wendy's.  Phew.  Eventually after getting a bit lost found Wendys house for another coffee and to drop off stuff to V.  And then on back to Glenys' house, arriving around 11pm or so, a huge day.  

The next night I caught up with the gliding guys for a curry which was a great relaxing night, and I got Wendys Chilli on the way back, oh yeah.  

A few more days in the routine of looking after Royden and helping to administer the good stuff that was keeping the pain away.  Most days we would get Royden out of bed for dinner or if the weather came nice, outside to get a bit of sunshine on him, there was even talk of going fishing but we never got the logistics of that sorted.  As much as possible anything he wanted he got, even if it was a gin and tonic at 2am!

On the Saturday I had arranged to meet up with the Corsans and so with the forecast being dodgy we sought indoors and the Museum.  Ehren wanted to see the dinosaur skeletons mostly and we raced around seeing lots of things, but nothing for very long at a time.  He was VERY talkative and it was funny to watch how he interacted with me.  Its going to be cool when he comes over next year.  

The next day was Fathers Day and I had presents from Ehren to open and we had planned a lunch and BBQ dinner as a bit of a housewarming day as well.  Roydens brother and sister and his Mum came so I stayed out of the way and left then to some quality time, while I cooked up quality banana bread.  After the evening BBQ wickedly cooked up by Sean, and later on while talking about my impending departure on Tuesday and who was arranged to come after I left, I saw a need to stay a bit longer.  Quick phone calls to check with work and Gypsy and then onto an 18 hour saga with the airlines that sapped most of Monday to change the flights, eventually sorted though with a bit of social media power. 

So on through he week we went, I did as much as I could to continue letting the others have a bit of a break for as long as possible.  Thursday night as we were about to go to bed it was time for some more medicine for Royden, but Glenys noticed something going on with him and after a few phone calls to hospice and such and consulting Dr Google, we rang an ambulance to take him to A&E about 1am.  Natalia went with Royden and I followed in the car a few minutes behind with Glenys to Auckland Hospital.  The Dr's poked and prodded as they do but ultimately there was really nothing they could do so back home we went, we had to wait a while for an ambulance to be free for Royden and we eventually got home about 6am and into bed for a short sleep before the nurse came for their daily visit and so on.  Long day on the Friday.  I managed a quick nap in the afternoon and then Tracy and Keith arrived, Tracy being a lifelong freind of my sister.  Keith knocked up a wicked chicken curry and then after the night before, it was early to bed all round, one of the few nights Glenys and I didnt have our special coffee before bed.

The following morning it was the final bit of packing and then we had special coffee for morning tea to make up for the night before.  Then for me it was goodbye to Royden and Glenys before heading to the airport.  A couple of flights and it was fantastic to be home again.  I got my second fathers day the next morning with Will and Tama making a big fuss, it was great.

After I left, Royden continued to put up a fight for another 10 days or so, eventually passing away on the 23rd Sep.  RIP mate till we dance again.

Almost needed to Chillax when Qantas running late made me miss my connection to AKL.

But we got there in the end, with a bit of help from AirNZ.

The weather hadn't changed while I was away, it did rain a 

lot and I always heard "it was really nice last week".

I may have overindulged in some tasty Feijoa treats.

My great-neice Caitlin, she taught me some new swing ball rules I never knew before and she planned some sort of epic doubles tournament, still not entirely sure how that was going to work in real life.

Caught up with my Mum and drove her back to Te Aroha a couple of days later.

Nephew Sean, changed a bit since I last saw him.

Caramel muffin making with Caitlin.

Stopped in to give our angel Saskia a clean up and some flowers.

Same deal for Dad, a small clean up and some fresh flowers.

This profile of the mountain is what I grew up with, its shape is iconic to me.  Its what I would have seen not long after I was born, and its always going to be home to me.  Its also the view I'll have for eternity alongside my angel.

Checked out some of the old stomping grounds.

Met my grand-niece Nikita for the first time.

Sampled Miss Wendy's wares since feijoas weren't in season.

Found some of Kieran's art from way back, can't say he has improved much actually.

Had a night out with the glider crew CK, DL and Ted.

Found more feijoa stuff!!!

More old favourites, Wendy's chilli.

Roydens son Scott and his puppy Ruby taking a nap.

Royden and Glenys enjoying the rare afternoon sunshine.

Caught up with the Corsan crew at the Auckland Museum. A whirlwind tour as Ehren did everything at full speed, often asking questions and then racing off while I thought of the answer!  I'll be prepared for when they visit Perth next year!

AA Stockley is my Uncle, killed in Crete.

Like father, like son?

Beautiful sunrise for Fathers Day.

Presents from Ehren.

Fathers Day lunch with some of Roydens family.

I whipped up some banana bread which was well received.

Royden with his Mum.

Ambrosia pudding......mmmmmmm

Fathers Day/House warming BBQ dinner.

Glenys and Royden at dinner one night.

Glenys and I started a tradition of special coffee before bed each night. We missed our one the night before as we went to bed real early as we'd only had 2hrs sleep the night before after a trip to A&E with Royden, so we had it at 9am in the morning on the day I flew out to make up for it.

Me and my dude Royden before I left.  We talked, we laughed, we danced, we gave each other shit for 2 weeks, that part was awesome.  I was sad to leave, but looking forward to being home again.

Leaving Sydney and flying toward the setting sun and my real home.