The Frog Prince

Last week was pretty wild. There was some random shit going down.

Monday I ended up heading off to bed with a migraine (again). And that was after a day without Will!

Tuesday I made a Fire Flash (Thunderbirds again) add that to the list of things I never though I'd do but did. Tama ate Pooh- add that to the list of things my kids have done that totally gross me out. And the list of  "Where the hell did you find that Tama?"

Wednesday had at least 2 extra hours added into them in the middle of the day. I'm sure of this. And an extra hour at the end when I had to have a deep and meaningful with Kieran.

Thursday we got three pieces of mail and they were all wrong:
One gave us money we didn't deserve and couldn't keep. (Australian regulation/red tape is a complicated punch of rubbish).
One managed to tell us that by paying $110 off a $201 bill we were $47 in credit- I could ignore that but I'm sure it would come back to bite me. I do worry about the maths Kieran is learning in school though if this is what his accounts section comes back with.
And the third only had 4 of the 6 items I had ordered.
The GPS stopped talking to me after I would take the street that didn't exist or go down a one way the wrong way.
And I got Mastitis again. (That's the short way of saying I felt like I got physically hit by a mack truck, had a sand bag on my chest. Had daggers run through my heart every time my arm brushed my boob. And ran both cold flashes and a fever in tandem.)

Sometime in between  Thursday and Friday I woke from a fever fueled delirium dream where a Doctor at the hospital lied and said I had harmed Tama because he didn't want to treat me while I was holding the baby. DOCS had removed all our children and separated them and we were fighting to get them back. I was woken by Tama was coughing/barking I thought he was throwing up I picked him up and he was hard out crying and he was cold and resistant to the light. I totally freaked out and was certain I was about to be off to the hospital in the dark. I had no idea where to go when I got there so I rang healthline talked to someone for 15 minutes before I got cut off and then had to do it all again from the start. By the end of it Tama was happy as larry. The lesson here is don't mother while hideously ill.

Friday I had the worlds fastest Doctors appointment- gone in 60 seconds! Kieran was home sick from school. And Will was horrid.

But the weirdest thing happened at the most ordinary moment.

I have to preference this by saying my house is generally tidy (4yo and baby in the house tidy) and it is fairly clean. I generally don't have random crud lying around my floor.

So...

I was folding the washing. In the front lounge just sitting on the floor. Watching a little telly.

Tama was babying around. Checking out the cords on the PS2. Trying to open the cupboard doors. Looking out the window. Finding random fluff and stuff on the floor. Putting it in his mouth. Just the standard stuff for him at the moment. Immune Building we call it.

He crawled out with a particularly large item in his hand.

Me "What's that T?"

T "Just this tasty tidbit I found. See watch me suck on it"

Me: "Um T what the crap have you got there?"

*** Urgent movement towards baby***

ITS A FROG.

A Petrified FROG.

Of course a frog would be petrified to be clutched in a baby's fat fingers.

But no- I mean as in dried out, dead, covered in fluff. Mummified kermit!

Its skinny little legs stuck out from its body like a lollypop stick perfectly fitting the small baby palm. It's little fat body and head forming the perfect lolly pop.

A Froggy Lollypop my baby just SUCKED!

I scooped Tama up and trying desperately to keep his hand from his mouth without having to touch the anhydrated amphibian myself I raced him out the front door. A scuffle ensued as Tama tried to retain his candy cadaver. But eventually I managed to make the frog fall onto the rain soaked pavers below. Recovered my composure (there may have been squealing and yelling previously) and headed back inside.

I seriously wanted to cry, or vomit or rinse my baby's mouth with disinfectant. But Tama was now upset and he needed a drink.... from me.

"Baby after what you just put in there you want me to put my nipple in there??? Seriously??"

Yuuuuuuuuukkkkkkkkkk.

   I kissed a Frog and I liked it....

♥