Tiny Tales from week 19

 

 

 

  

I am so lucky.

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Story Chapter 24- So not ready for this...

Two things happened last week which left me totally conflicted. On one hand I was in shock and yet pleasantly surprised. And on the other hand I was in shock and feeling like a 7 year old with a new two wheeler bycycle.....

Not just any 7 year old.... my seven year old back in 2004. Whom after pulling back the sheet that was covering his brand new bike dropped his hands by his side, dropped his head and said: "I'm so not ready for this".

Let me start with the good stuff first (it's all good really). Last Tuesday I went into Kieran's room to find some washing in an effort to make up a load. What confronted me was a bunch of wet towels and a population of dust bunnies who were about to go on strike due to over-crowding.

So I cleaned up his room.

You have to understand I've done this in the past and there's a procedure that results....
1. Forewarn Kieran in the car on the way home.
2. Listen to grumbling.
3. Stony silence.
4. Kieran races inside to check out the 'damage', not stopping to help Will out of the car or anything considerate.
5. He sulks for the remainder of the day.

Last Tuesday I followed step 1.

And then he said: "Thanks".

I checked to make sure that I had brought the correct kid home from school. I had.

I was quietly thankful- the less fuss the better where Kieran is concerned.

He went happily about his day.

Awesome. He's growing up. Really, really maturing. I'm so very proud.

The next day he went to a careers expo. And in the car on the way home he was telling me his tentative plan........

He wants to do engineering. He's hoping/planning to go to the Defence Force Academy.

In Canberra.

In Canberra, ACT.

In two and a half short years my boy my precious first baby boy is planning to leave home and go to university. 

Not just any university.

A university totally on the other side of the country.

For four years.

To be honest I remember seeing the mothers on the likes of the Doctor Phil show who were about to be or had just become empty-nesters. They were all cry baby and pathetic and I was thinking: "Are you kidding me? Kid leaving home, after 18 years Yippppeeeee!"

And now I'm almost there.

When you have a family of six especially  a family with an almost 2 year old and a five year old the days are L-O-N-G, really long! But those 2.5 years they are going to race by. Those 2.5 years are going to be SO short. And before I know it Tama will be full time at school and Kieran will be gone.

Gone.

I'm so not ready for this.

 
15 and a half years, seriously?

Where did it go.

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Single Photo Saturday

 

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Flora on Friday

 

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365 Week 21

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Tiny Tales from week 18

This boy LOVES curried egg. He likes it on toast but much prefers to eat it by the spoonful straight from the bowl!

We had a visit from Noah from across the road- he was accompanied by his big sisters too!

There was some chillin'

And some battling.

And some sickness.

And a catch-up with friends!

Netball started.

And Star Wars prevailed.

As did cuteness!

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365 Week 20

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365 Week 19

 

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Story Chapter 23- Saskia

 

 Yesterday my first daughter turned 14. We had balloons and birthday cards. We made a special brunch with Eggs Benedict, Bacon and all sorts of delicious goodness. We had Macarons, Chocolate Mudcake and plans for special cold chocolates. The only thing we didn't have was Saskia.

Saskia died before she even had a chance to take a breath outside of my body. At the time I was understandably devastated. I threw myself into making sure we delivered and buried our daughter in the best way possible. And then I threw myself into reading the stories of baby loss that others had shared on the internet. And then I threw myself into writing down the story of her pregnancy, death and birth in a special scrapbook. And then I threw myself into hiding from the world that was moving on without me. And then I threw myself into a long and terrifying pregnancy. And then I finally had a new baby in my arms.

And then we got the internet at home and I was able to find a way to use what I had been through for good. I was able to reach out to mothers in the raw stage of their grief and those who were standing on the edge of the cliff which is a subsequent pregnancy deciding if they were brave enough to jump. I threw myself into yet another endeavour in the name of my girl- pregnancy loss support online. I cried my way through hundreds of stories, offered advice and support and made precious friends around the world.

With time and experience I learned more and did more and had my whole perspective on life changed all because my baby died. The things I gained because of the loss were so much more than the loss itself. The gifts of patience, perspective, and an appreciation of all life (the details and the big story) have been such a benefit to my life that I wouldn't be without them.

I learned to see my daughter not as what we had lost but what we had been given. Not the least of which is her sister and most likely her younger brothers who would not have come when they did had it not been for her going.

It was awful and wonderful and I wouldn't change a thing.

Dear Saskia, I love you. Happy 14th Baby Girl! Love Mum xoxo

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Single Photo Saturday

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Flora on Friday

 

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Tama 23 Months

He's going to be two soon!! My Baby!!

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Will Month 65

 

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365 Week 18

 

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Round-up ~ May 2013

On our bookshelf this month....

Not much reading in May- unless your name is Tama in which case it's all yellow diggers all day! I need a trip to the library!

Loving on the box....

Survivor, Grey's Anatomy, Call the Midwife, Doctor Who, Biggest Loser Next Generation, MasterChef, and Offspring is back YAY!  Merenia went and saw Ironman 3 at the movies with Brit.

For you...For me?

May is a quiet one for us- mother's day and Sylvia's Birthday. I got a voucher to spend when Project Life finally hits the shores of WA. Balloons and Chocolate for Kieran best friend Emma. And I did do all the shopping for Tamas Birthday next month.

Germs and bugs and botherations....

We started the month with Tama being sick with a fever as a result of a throat infection. Tama took a tumble off his digger in the sandpit which resulted in a lot of blood and a decent graze on his chin... he's still talking about it 2 weeks later. We ended the month with Will having the day off due to swimming exhaustion. He also had a headache the next day. And Tama and I had a cold that was the start of something much bigger....

Today was good today was fun, tomorrow is another one...

Will started Hookin2Hockey. Having the PP Birds for the school holidays was a lot of fun. Mother's Day concert in Will's class. Watched Will at swimming lessons and stayed on at school to help with the 'end of swimming sausage sizzle'.

Yum, yum, yum....

Hokey Pokey biscuits, Blue Cheese Pizza,

'It was on sale'....
More albums! I found the ones I needed for Les and Tama when Kieran and I went up to Joondalup. Netball shoes, hockey shoes, lots of stuff for sport! I got a replacement chain for my one little work necklace 3 months after it broke. We finally finished series 9 of the Lego Mini figures and put a decent dent in our collecting of series 10.

Bugger!

Lots of sports games and practice taking over our lives. Problems with my car! Looked really bad to start but ended up being just the radiator so not cheap but a lot cheaper than we were expecting.

Hooray!

Payrise and retention bonus! Getting a bunch of stuff out of my scraproom. Getting a few pages done for the first time in ages as well. Will managed to sleep the whole night in hos own room 20/21 nights in a row earning him some Sat Wars Lego and us a solid sleep!

Etc...

The Hockey and Netball seasons started for the year with both kids having mostly successes so far. LOTS of time spent digger watching!!  Will had swimming through school.

You know who's good idea this was? Katie The Scrapbook Lady. Go check out her list of tasks to do at the end of each month as well.

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Story Chapter 22- the disturbers

  

Something I am struggling with at the moment is both a lack of plans and also a willingness to let go of plans and ambitions that I have. I feel like we're really living day-to-day and a lot of time is going by wasted.

“Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end. It's not a day when you lounge around doing nothing; it's a day you've had everything to do and you've done it.”

Part of the problem is I'm often seeing the stuff that we haven't done and not seeing the stuff that we have achieved.
And part of it is just a lack of planning, routine and habits that are either non-existant or not serving us well. And part of the problem is having so much that I want to do and only so much time in which to do it.
And part of it is the feeling of frustration in the time that it is taking to address the behaviours and actions that need to change in order to get to where we want to be.

I feel stalled.

"The disturbers of happiness are our desires, our griefs, and our fears." - Samuel Johnson

This quote came through in my email recently and it struck a chord so I pasted it into this weeks post to explore. As I read it now I struggle to put my finger on what it is that speaks to me about it. I just know that my happiness right now is 'disturbed'. And I think it comes down to three things mentioned above. I know what my desires are- but perhaps I need to write them down to really clarify and solidify them for myself. I have an idea of my griefs but no idea as to how I can work through them. And I really don't know what my fears are.

I'm obviously going to have to think on all of this a little more because I'm keen for more great stories and I'm also keen to recognise the great stories that are already happening every single day.

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Single Photo Saturday

 
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