There was a time when I didn't used to care what people thought of me. That's what confidence is- a lack of caring about the opinions of others. Over time as I've thought less of the person I've become I've become much more aware and sensitive of what people might think.
I've developed habits, practices, a body, and a dress sense I'm not proud of. And I'm not generally confident about me. I've worked on fitting in and not standing out. And in the process I have undermined my own confidence and ability to be brave.
I'm not interested in being normal. I like to be different. But the less people I know and spend time with who are their own brand of 'out there', the less I feel able to be out there too.
I'm not outwardly the person that is at my core. I'm not who I want my children to see and learn from. And I don't know how to get back there.
I'm thinking I need to be brave.
And I'm thinking I need to stop thinking and act.
♥
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